Fido’s Laid Logs are Going to Forensics

So, sometimes after a long walk with Jack my guilty conscience tends to creep up on me. I imagine that one day my doorbell will ring and when I go to see who it is, all that exists is a small brown paper bag, on my front door step, LIT on FIRE … Yes lit on fire, with the remnants of Jack’s feces in it – that being the day I got caught for not picking up my dog’s lawn sausage.

For the most part, I am a law-abiding citizen of my community who is really good about following the rules and keeping my neighborhood clean. It is very rare that you will see me shaming the streets with large numbers of laid logs my dog left behind – but let’s keep it 100, we all have been guilty of doing that a few times now and then, right??

While it can be easy to walk away from not taking care of our “duties” as dog owners with no one seeing, that program won’t work for us much longer – as forensics are going to the butt brownies.

Places with large canine communities, such as Naples, Italy (home to more than 80,000 dogs) are cracking down and creating a community database which profile dog feces by their DNA and the owner to which the dog belongs. The program calls for blood samples from every dog in the city to create a DNA database of community canines. When an offending pile is discovered, it will be scraped up and subjected to DNA testing. If a match is made in the database the owner will face a fine up to 500 euros or $685. Scary sh*t right?

Well, whether you find it scary, strange, or funny, one thing is for sure- don’t plan on putting down your pooper scooper any time soon. More and more city councils across the country are enforcing this new program, especially here in Southern California where our canine population is the largest in the USA. Companies like PooPrints are just one of the new up and coming pet waste management companies substantially profiting from the new high demand business.

So next time you think of walking away from your dogs street side floater – remember it can be traced. The only thing worse than stepping on a dog turd, is knowing there’s pretty much no way to track down the ones responsible – well not any more!!!

Here are some classic tips provided by my friend and lifelong animal lover, John Van Zante, who serves as Public Relations Director for Rancho Coastal Humane Society in Encinitas. He recently posted these at the entrance of the “Cricket’s Corner Dog Park” at RCHS.

He says, “People seemed to enjoy it and it gave them some ‘teeth’ to speak with people who were ignoring their dogs, not picking up poo, or bringing dogs that created problems.”

#1: Thou shall be responsible for thy dog at all times.

#2: Thou shalt not ignore thy dog.

#3: Leave thy cell phone behind unless thou art using it to take pictures of thy “best friend.” (Cease texting! Pay attention to thy dog!)

#4: Thou shall pick up thy dog’s poop and dispose of it.

#5: Thou shalt not let thy dog dig holes. If it does…Thou shall fill in any holes thy dog has dug immediately.

#6: Thou shalt not enter the gates of the dog park with a dog that has not been spayed or neutered.

#7: Thou shalt not enter the gates of the dog park with a sick dog or a dog that does not have up-to-date vaccines and proper identification.

#8: Thou shalt not enter the gates of the dog park with an unfriendly, unsocial, or aggressive dog.

#9: Thou shall be held accountable for any damage that thou or thy dog causes while in the dog park.

#10: Thou shall re-read commandment #4 and hallow it.

If you or your dog violate any of the Ten Commandments of the Dog Park, you will be cast out into the parking lot, either temporarily or for all eternity.

P.S. Here is a little joke I created that I think many of you can relate to. 😉